Unsure

Unsure

I sit here… thinking to myself

Fast forwarding and rewinding my past, present… future…

So confused…

My heart just doesn’t know what to do?

How can I love?

How can I avoid from being hurt by you?

How can a person let go…?

And yet how can a person hold on?

Suffering…

Damn is it a mystery?

What was I thinking?

Placing myself in this position of not knowing what to do…

Miles away…

Hours apart…

Damn…

Is there a beat still beating here in my heart?

I want to be there…

And yet I want to be free

Afraid of love conquering…

Afraid of defeat…

My mind thinks like a heart that once was able to speak

After so long of being intimate…

So long of being drawn into you

My mind no longer thinks

Words of confusion

Things being misled…

 Is it an illusion…?

How can you love someone…?

How can you understand…?

When your mind is trapped in his hands

Wanting to free you by finding someone new

Afraid that it is the wrong thing to do…

So who can I turn to when I’m yearning for your touch?

Who can I want…?

Although consistently I push away the next man’s luck

Am I placing myself in a shield?

Afraid that one day, the truth will be revealed…

How can I love you so much?

But being unsure if loving you is something that I want to do

This is the feeling of being incomplete

When the man that you want isn’t near you

My eyes see different things

The truth goes unnoticed

Him wanting to be intimate with other ladies

This isn’t love… its pure selfishness

Pissed off all over again…

Love is tough… it’s a war that I’m afraid that I might not win

Trying to avoid the obstacles that are at hand…

I fall asleep in dream of being in your arms once again..

Waking up to reality that you are no longer here…

In need of affection

Do I need to choose the next man…?

…..is this Love and Confusion… all over again?

I’m unsure

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