Prologue (Lovers Mentality)

Prologue

                For one Yemya, you don’t have to be sorry that you love Shame. That’s good that you are happy if anything… I want you to be happy. And for two, I am not jealous of you, not to be downing you or whatnot, but I ain’t got shit to be jealous of. And I am glad you are backing your man up 100%… that’s what you are supposed to do, but damn, just because this niggah done whispered sweet words and dicked you down don’t forget about the ones that’s been there before him! But like you said… you are a grown woman… So get your grown woman on :^)

I guess all most women need in this world is a man anyway, well at least in your case! And for you to say I’ll understand when I find the right one. Well trust me boo… I did. I just took it for granted and not once did I put him before you, my sis, or any other loved one. And that’s the same way it was with me and S.O.P. He’ll do for his niggahs before he would do for me. And I understand that shit ‘cause that’s how I WAS about you. Until I start to peep game. But I can’t even blame you though ‘cause you been boy crazy and always did for niggahs since I’ve known you… So I should have expected this shit.

As I sit here and look back and look on what everybody use to say, I gotta give them their props. They were right! I don’t have no best friends but Frankie and Kenya. They are the only ones I can really say that they are the ones I know who won’t turn her back on me… no matter what the situation is. Mekia always said “You and Yemya ain’t gone last.” Now you can say that I didn’t listen. My aunt always said that “You don’t have friends; you only have your family and associates. Once again… I didn’t listen.

I had to find out the hardest way ever! When I was up all night crying for six nights in a row over a niggah… You! My best friend was no where to be found. When I did call you, you either didn’t answer or was just too busy to answer. But I was there for you… Every time you fell in love and gotten hurt. But Frankie and Kenya got me through it. Frankie would even wake up at like four in the morning just to try to get me to sleep on a school night! But fuck that ‘cause it’s old and done with now. Frankie tried to tell me all I have is her and Kenya but I thought I had you too until I read your letter.

Even though I knew your man came first, I was still willing to be second just ‘cause you were my girl. Man… in my eyes… you were my sister. I’m like… it’s just a phase; you haven’t been in love in a couple of months so I’m sure it feels good to have that feeling again. But I mean damn, I can only take so much before I realize that I’m the ass here and that I am the only one being a best friend ‘cause you sure as hell wasn’t! I don’t give a damn how in love you are or even if you think that ya’ll are going to last forever. Mya, I’m not doubting your relationship and trust me… I do wish the best for ya’ll. But Yemya, when this niggah is gone do you wrong or when you get your head come out of the damn clouds. You will realize that putting that niggah first… that shit ain’t right.

But like everybody telling me… “She gone need you one day.” And like I tell them… I may be crazy but I will always be there. Why? That shit I don’t even know myself. I’m not saying we should completely stop talking… but Shame can play the “best friend” role, I’ll pass. I can just be your girl or something…

                                    Love ya,

                                          Andreyia

 

After reading over Andreyia’s letter I didn’t even know if shedding a tear would be worth it. I value our friendship… and really hated the fact that it was losing its connection over a relationship… I have my flaws… and one is not being able to balance the people I love. Being in love with a man has become my down fall… Although I have always had my friends, I was losing them over my relationship… Or were my friends losing me over my relationship… More importantly, I was losing something that was a part of me and have yet to realize it. I just didn’t know that a relationship can affect everyone around you including me. I was in love… and love was my mentality. Without it, I felt useless whether it was from my family, my friends or my man. I needed to feel loved and losing one love just kept me bottled in. Andreyia is my best friend… How can I please a friendship and please my man without them understanding… it all became a learning process for me… it all became a lover’s mentality…

Advertisements
Previous Post
Leave a comment

Thank You For Your Comment :^):

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: