Yesterday it seemed as if

Yesterday seemed as if was the first day in while that Shame decided to stick around. I don’t know what it was; if his was into it with all of his bitches or what. In a way, it was strange because I have gotten use to him coming and going. It was at the point where my walls were starting to build and the feelings of resentment were molding into my character.  Yet at the very same time, it felt good that he was even here. For just that moment I was under the impression feeling as if Shame actually gave a damn about us. After texting Darryl, last night, I realized that I would only be hurting myself by playing the same games that Shame was playing. What else can I say, I cared about Shame. As much as I wanted to mean to him and let him be. Part of me wanted to at least try. Anything is worth a try right? I think so.

            After bathing and climbing into my bed, Shame stretched his arm out, wrapping it around my waste pulling me in close. He told me that he cared about me. As much as I tried to hold back and stand my ground.  I gave in. My walls collapsed. Feeling our bodies entwined under sheets caused my body to shutter. Although it was dark in the bed room, I felt his eyes trace my body as he climbed on top of me pulling my oversized t-shirt above my waist. I gasped as he slowly shoved his dick inside of me…

            ‘You must not knoww ‘bout meeee, you must not know ‘bout meee. Cause I can have another you in a minute matter fact he’ll be here in a minute baaabby.’

             I was knocked out of my train of thoughts of Shame and I making love last night by a loud Beyonce’s ring tone.  I looked around in the direction that the sound was coming from and saw it on my night stand.

             Reaching over across the bed, I picked up my ringing phone; looking at the caller ID I read P.J. across the screen. I haven’t spoken to him in a while. He would usually text me to let me know that he was thinking about me. I would be mean and brush him off. Before I met Shame, P.J. was my boo thing. We never went beyond a little kissing and touching which went on for about a year. I really had a thing for P.J. until he didn’t want to settle for me which had really fucked my feelings up.  After pouring my feelings out to him and then watching him laugh as if my words weren’t nothing had really altered my thoughts on us. I would usually give him the cold shoulder. Instead, his phone call caused me to answer it.

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